Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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