I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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