The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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