drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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