It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
