Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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