Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
