you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Randomize
