i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
