What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
