were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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