did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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