They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
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