apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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