can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
