so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
