Christians are straight up FREAKS
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
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