i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize