it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
