Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
