$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
