So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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