So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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