We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
