And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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