You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
