Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
