this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
