So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Panties = found
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
