I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
