it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
