YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
