He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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