I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
