those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
