Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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