i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
