she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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