Kareoke will never be a sober sport
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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