There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
