Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
