She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
