the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
