found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
