we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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