He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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