I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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