you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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