Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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