I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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