so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize