goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Rumble strips road head = magical
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
