You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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