Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
