I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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