You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
please come you make the beer taste better
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
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