Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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