if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
