His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
