Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
