So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
