I met the friendliest cop last night
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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