He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
