You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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