When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
