i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
