At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
